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I'm Not A Writer I Just Think A Lot
Posted on Tuesday, January 27, 2015 at 10:18 AM
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   So with the New Year coming in I was very eager to write a new blog post. Obviously the New Year came and went, and we only have a few days left in the month and I still have posted diddly squat. Now before I go beating myself up I will admit to the fact that Sasha (the chick that’s been my main chick since the beginning of awkward teenage angst) was right. She said “I don’t think you got a chance to finish writing that blog post because you tried to do too much too soon.” Of course at first I was all “and what you mean by that heux” but when she explained it I was all “damn skank! You right, and that’s why I love yo fine ass.” Anyway it was too true here I was, hadn’t posted on my blog in forever, had my baby crying to my left, family in town for the holidays to my right, and husband at my rear end calling my name for God knows what, because that’s just what husbands do; and I was attempting to right about EVERYTHING. I mean of course I wanted this blog post to be the post of all posts I wanted to discuss my new found self, and that one time I was in that SHITTY relationship with that SHITTY guy that made me want to beat the utter SHIT out of him; and how much that experience helped me grow as a person which is probably why I can be a good wife to my husband today (oh yeah I got married November 2013, the lucky guy who I talked about in my last blog post back in April 2013). And oh yeah, how much I love being a mother to my 7mnth old little man, and blah, blah, blah, blahdy frigging blah. And you know what I realized “I’m not a writer I just think a lot” (Big Pun Voice) It was so hard to post cause I had a million thoughts in my head and didn’t know how to put them into the right words, and write them down.
   So screw it, without all the fancy crap here’s what I learned in 2014. People are assholes, of course there are some nice people in the world (me being one of them) but for the most part, people are assholes. Another thing I learned was apparently you get more cool points for the bigger anus you let society know that you can be. Bullies get all the glory, and the more catastrophically douchy you can be the larger your fan base will be. I say fan base because I realize that everyone one thinks they are a friggin superstar these days what with Twitter, and Facebook and Instagram and all these ways for people to share their unnecessary opinions; for everyone to act like they give a shit but they don’t, they just want to be a part of something just so they can feel accepted. To further the fan theory the word “FRIEND” is used way to loosely, people like you when you have some miserable, mediocre, superficial thing in common but when you move on to better/ different things in life they move on from you. Like some teenaged tween bandwagon fan that only likes an artist when they are at the top of their game winning Grammy’s and shit (everything sounds more thugged out when you add “and shit.”) Something else I discovered is that people are never really happy for you. Correction, there are some people that can genuinely be happy for you, usually they are people that truly love you unconditionally and strangers. Yep I said it, a stranger will be happy for you before someone you’ve known all your life, because truth be told most of the time most of your “friends” come up with a bunch of strange reasons to hate you; which is really just code for jealousy or as my husband would call it misplaced admiration. All in all the biggest thing that I learned last year was no matter what you do in life people will find some reason to judge you just to make themselves feel better about themselves.
   So now I’m asking you my loved ones, for 2015 make a vow to yourself. Make a vow for your happiness to depend on you and only you. When you sit back and think of all the times you weren’t happy the most appalling realization is that it was probably because of someone else. Therefore take a stand and say that you will no longer let people steal your joy. Another thing guys, spread love, even to those that you feel don’t deserve it. There are enough horrible things in this world, don’t be that one more horrible person doing that one more horrible thing. Spread love to your haters, the best way to kill them is with kindness, and above all else it’s good Karma. Also be absolutely unapologetic; in all seriousness there were a lot of things about myself that I wanted to change, but then I realized I only wanted to change them to make people around me happy, so I say screw it. The price of other people’s happiness shouldn't be your happiness. PERIOD. Unless you are living fowl and doing things that hurt others there is no reason you should feel guilty for being the way that god made you, LOVE YOURSELF. Also my friends, know when to be selfish. This also goes back to not losing your happiness to make others happy. I am a people pleaser for sure but one thing I've learned is that it is okay to say “NO” sometimes, even if your just saying “NO” just to remind yourself that you have the right to say “NO”. And last but not least, SHOOT FOR THE FRIGGIN STARS. There are so many people in your life that will not want you to succeed all because if you do succeed at your dreams you will leave them behind. They will constantly doubt you, just to see if they can change your mind. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT be the extra person to doubt YOU. No one will believe in YOU if YOU don’t believe in you.

 Signing off with the success of my loved ones and dear friends in my heart

Yours Truly,
The Lovely Ladybug



Getting back to my good good friends, ME, MYSELF, and I!
Posted on Sunday, April 7, 2013 at 7:30 AM
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           Hello world! Oh how I've missed thee. So I think I created this blog some time around September 2011. I truly wanted it to be amazing but because I always had about 10,000 things going on in my life at once; sadly "she" suffered [my blog]. Well it's April 2013 now and much has changed (in no particular order). 
           I've moved from NY to Baltimore, I am attending Morgan State U, I've fallen in love ( like real love,  like he's my boyfriend and I'm his girlfriend, like a real relationship, like he loves me back and everything and isn't afraid to show it to me or the entire world lol) and, I have made a new vow to myself to know when to be selfish. Yes I said it correct SELFISH. I've noticed that I am a pretty SELFLESS person, I mean I'm a giver to no end, and I happen to love this about myself because that's just how God made me; however I've noticed that in being so SELFLESS I never learned how and when to be SELFISH, so I've decided to challenge myself. I am now on what I would call a quest almost, a quest to take the time out to really do for ME. 
         I realize that I really made a huge decision in leaving New York and starting college again from scratch at 23 [which doesn't feel that old btw until Ur in class with a bunch of 19 yr olds lol] so why not keep the ball on decision making rolling. I want to make it my business to do things I love again, start dancing again, go back to vocal training, maybe even continuing my guitar lessons; I want to devote more time to my freelance styling career, and build a stronger clientele with my hair styling, I wanna sketch more designs, sew better, write and record new songs, and take my broadcasting career seriously.  
      And that brings me to u people! I want u guys to follow me, join me as I do "stuff". Whether it be fun, stuff, not so fun stuff, grown up stuff [no matter how old I get there won't be a lot of that] playful stuff (probably gonna be a boatload of that) stuff that I love, or not so much, either way it will all be apart of helping me grow and knowing when to be selfish for the better. Why do I want u along for the process? Because what fun can my endeavors to success be without ppl to share it with. Photos, videos, poetry, and random rants about random crap, however I get it to u guys, I hope u all love it.... WELCOME TO MY BLOG and WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!



Meaningful Foolery
Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2011 at 1:45 AM
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